So its begun -- glorious chemistry approximately 7 hours a day. still in a lot of dependence on my mentors, but its been quite fun, despite having to watch my product filter drop by drop the WHOLE day yesterday. it was also vaguely distressing when i placed a USD $470 order for 30 g of a chemical i need for my experiment - firstly, thank goodness it was not out of my pocket, and secondly, just 7 times that amount would equate to my wages for the entire summer.
210g BBE:1 grace (sigh)
on a more serious note - more and more i find myself becoming aware to the very elitist culture that a lot of the people around me dwell in, and perhaps that which i've both tended towards, and also fallen prey to. in the end it's all a facade, isn't it? because no matter how much or how high you climb in life, you'll always be needing someone to back you up, save you even. and while you're wallowing in self-glory and self-gratification by treading victoriously upon the backs of your 'underlings', you forget how much you needed them in the first place to get you there. so what if you feel that the simple things in life are too beneath you, and therefore have the right to criticize them? it takes two hands to clap, no? you needed it in the very first place to act as a comparison in order to form that judgment. from my point of view, these cannot be righteously deemed simply as 'preferences'. they act as a guise by which one is able to innocently elevate themselves above others to satisfy personal standards.
as for me, i have to stop because i know that i also take pleasure in diminishing and competing. it gets in the way of loving the people closest to you, and rejoicing with them in their successes. it also means that i'm setting false standards for myself, and not relying on the true written standard which is the bible, and living the true Life, found in the person of Christ.
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