it's the (end of) FALL!!!!

i actually missed the most brilliant part of the changing colors, i'm ashamed to say, out of pure laziness. but, my mum has come a-visiting and we walked about central park on a very lovely day!



i look upon this time of year quite whimsically. as the days shorten, and enter the festiveness of the season, i too begin to mellow out a little -- taking in the cool, crisp weather & let the tension seep out of me.

September 2009 marked the start of my fifth year in the States. God has brought me to the ends of the earth -- He has challenged and broadened my horizons till i cannot even dare imagine a limit to His power & wisdom.


Yet, as I settle down into adult life -- paying rent/credit card bills/deciding what to do with my time... being as stable & self-sufficient(ish) as a fresh graduate can be... I have never felt more happy, and... more trapped. I find living for myself tiresome and boring, and while i do have a group of Christians with whom i meet and serve with, i think to myself how nice it would be to get up and go where I know nobody, and start from scratch. Which is a bad idea -- it's the kind of thinking that seems really good, until it becomes a reality and you regretfully recant all your previous idealizing tendencies. the only way out of this, which i know for sure, is to start living for others and serving God's people like crazy -- which i've tried, but when you go at it on your own, it never really is ever sustainable.

nevertheless, i think my Father has something up His sleeve -- so i shall pray for a revolution. to make me hunger and pursue His righteousness with great passion, and for my fellowship group -- where laughter, praise and community will abound and never cease.

¹² Teach us to number our days aright,
that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
¹⁷ May the favor of the Lord our God
rest upon us;
establish the work of our hands for us—
yes, establish the work of our hands.

Psalm 90:12, 17