Dear everybody,
i have graduated after four years at Vassar College. i am now an alum! (omg.)
proof:




unfortunately, the family pictures are on my brother's computer. so more to come!

A lot has happened in the last 30 days. But in all my confusion, doubt, frustration and lack of trust, God has only been granting me a constant outpouring of blessing. In retrospect, God has given me more than I could ever ask for.

firstly, I have a JOB at a prestigious institution. Starting Monday, I will be a research technician at Weill Cornell Medical College in New York City in a breast cancer lab that investigates the effect of cox genes in the manifestation of mammary tumorigenesis, and on a slightly larger scale, how Wnt signaling plays a role in breast cancer. (http://www.med.cornell.edu/research/lrhowe/)

In the last 3 months, I only got 2 other interviews. One of them got cancelled on me because I was too late, and the principal investigator (the boss of the lab) had already found 2 other people. The other was in San Francisco (UCSF) where I would have gotten the job (COOL LAB) but the institution doesn't hire internationals as staff. And I wasn't hearing back from Columbia, Rockefeller or Sloan Kettering in NYC. For some reason, while I was worried about the prospect of not finding a job, I didn't get the sense that I would end up at either of those institutions, nor that I really was what they were looking for. Also, they have beastly HR departments. So there was a lot of questioning God, and questioning myself -- how open was I to the prospect of having to leave the USA? was I comfortable going home? to the latter, no. i love Singapore and I might return some day, but not as a fresh college graduate. I didn't feel ready --- but WHAT IF God was to send me home? So thoughts like that...

Basically God closed all other doors (that was sometimes difficult and warranted tears every now and then) and offered me this job at Cornell. Now, the special thing about this job that shows the incredible grace and love of God is that

1) one of its focuses is on Wnt signaling -- amidst the incredible number of research fields, Wnt signaling is the only one that i concentrated on this past semester at Vassar in my advanced cell bio class. I know this signaling pathway reasonably well and even wrote a mock grant proposal on it. i enjoyed it, and when i was applying for various jobs, was bemoaning the fact that i may never ever have anything to do with this pathway again. Wrong.

2) breast cancer! i've always wanted to do cutting edge research in the biological sciences, but never thought my research background was suited for even being accepted into a lab such as this. at this point, i've done mostly chemistry, and just a little biochemistry. Wrong. what's even more amazing is that i'm pretty sure this job is going to teach me a whole set of new skills -- there's a lot of mice work & genotyping. but i'm going to prepare myself for that.

3) Getting to where I'm at now involved a couple of good decisions, that I am POSITIVE I could not have made on my own.

Even before i lost the job at San Francisco, i didn't feel like SF was the place i wanted to be in, at least at this point in my life. it didn't feel right - and my rational mind would have said otherwise, but i think God was leading me elsewhere. after that job prospect dissipated, i made the decision to move to NYC with my brother (where we're living is another blessing, but that's another story for another time) -- this was not an easy decision because if i didn't find a job in 3 months, i would have to leave the States leaving my brother to find another tenant. The issue was, Daniel could have lived with friends, but he chose to live with me. if i didn't get a job, he may have been forced to live with a stranger. it was a lot of faith on both our parts. But God led me to decide to move to NYC.

While I was waiting for a response from Cornell, I also got accepted as a counselor with the Exploring Transfer program at Vassar. this was just a 6-week summer employment stint, but i would be paid a lot ($3000). I applied to this program as a safety net, in case i didn't have a job after graduation, at least this would provide me a form of income. The downside to this program was that it involves a massive time investment, I wouldn't have been able to apply for jobs or arrange for interviews. Second, and more importantly, were the dates: it runs from june 10 to july 18. i told cornell that I could start work June 1. I was therefore in the position where I had to make an assumption and choose:

- I could assume i did not get the job at cornell, and accept ET. But if i did get cornell, I would have to request a later start, which would not reflect well on me, and would give them the power to reject me. Or I could back out of ET last minute -- but that's awful because there are many people relying on me. I don't think that's a very godly thing to do either.

- Assume I got Cornell and reject ET. Therefore putting myself in the position where i may end up with nothing. If Cornell didn't want me, I would have had no job. I followed through with this option -- it required a lot of faith, but I believe that God honored this, and I felt at ease because I wasn't stepping on or using other people to protect my butt. And in a sense, I could only trust in His strength and grace.

4) just the incredible amount of prayer on my behalf. while i wavered in all my indecisions and lack of confidence that God would give me what I wanted, i know for a fact that my loving friends and family have been anchoring me in prayer and remained confident in me. and i am humbled.

I don't know if you sense this, this post is mostly for myself to understand how God has brought me through this job searching process. If you persevered, thank you for taking such an interest! It is truly in His grace and mercy that I have a job.


the end :)