so i've started blogging a little more regularly now. i'm not sure why, but i guess there is a lot to be gained in taking time to think of recent happenings in life, and how God has played an active role in every part of it.

i'm searching for direction and i'm trying to dwell in the hope that this life of mine will be lived most joyfully and in glory to my King. recently i've come to realise how calculating a servant i've been for a God who has yet to let me fall. in addition, my lack of self-[ i suspect originated from false self-modesty arising from the need to gain approval from others, has been manifesting itself such that i find myself believing myself to be completely useless. the result? i take no pride in who i am as a person whom God lovingly made in His own image. the need for approval from others has eclipsed my acceptance and joy for the person God made me out to be. which is weird because back home in singapore, i don't remember myself to be so self-deprecating. there is a balance that needs to be struck in being confident yet humble - and i think God can help me in that discernment. i need to stop apologizing for who i am and get to fulfilling my potential. gah!

God also keeps on amazing me - last night at large group i got to do a testimony/teaching about a difficult topic that i had zero confidence (SEE!?) of delivering. topic?
God and Race.
My problem? I go to a liberal arts college. Everybody has an opinion, and sometimes, bringing God into a somewhat 'grey' issue may stir up a lot of controversy. race is a very difficult issue. But God really helped me and people seemed to get my POV, and my haha, messianic jewish friend didn't get offended!!

anyway,
i'm really excited to go home!

did i mention that?

hehehehe