good grief.
there are times when i just dislike myself so completely. i still find that i don't think before speaking. i made a flippant - meant to be joking kind of comment about my friend's skirt this morning on the way to church and though i doubt she took any offence at all - i felt SO INCREDIBLY bad because it was literally eating away at me - and though it didn't take much forcing of myself, i apologised to her. of which she was surprised because she (as i previously said) did not take offence. it brings me back to the time i was 14 (i think) and i was on a ycg retreat at sentosa (the first ever one) and there was this evening where everyone had and passed around a sheet of paper and others would write (anonymously) one thing good and one thing for the person in question to improve on - in terms of character. i think that affected me a lot in a good way because there was a comment which stated that i can be rather sharp in some of the statements that i make to people. so after that flashback, i look at myself today and i think that although i have improved in terms of sharpness/frankness/criticism, my so-called 'jokes' are still unintentionally hurtful - that's why i need to THINK and consider before i even open my mouth. an aspect of which i fail miserably. i usually SAY then consider what i said. 错到极点！错错错！so many times i've potentially offended my friends, but praise God that they still stick by me - and also that they know me so well to the point where they either know when to take it as a joke or correct me patiently.

whew, another close call. it will be the last one if i can help it!
Proverbs 17:27 - "A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered."
Proverbs 21:23 - "He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity."
from the words of the wisest man in history.